Friday, August 29, 2008

Stop Ruining The Earth!

Would you do any damage to the place where you live in? Would you put on fire or do something that can destroy your home, your house? You wouldnt! Why should you if you are living in it and if it is the only place where you belong to. Then why people destroy, do harm to our planet which is our home, the place which gives us life? Our planet is writhing with pain and if we dont stop ruining it, soon there will be no place that we can call it "home".

Thursday, August 28, 2008

How Russian decision will affect world’s unrecognised states

The recognition of South Ossetia and Abkhazia will have repercussions both in Russia and around the world. RT looks at the hopes of other unrecognised states and their relations with the international community.

With 192 member states, the global world order is firmly wedded to the United Nations. So before any aspiring state can be formally recognised, it has to meet the approval of the UN General Assembly. And there are a couple of key hurdles to overcome.

It needs the consent of the Security Council, comprised of 15 countries and most importantly, the five permanent members of the Council. Today, there are a number of regions which are not recognised at all or only partially so.


Kosovo is the most recent example, having been recognised by more than 40 states, including the US, Canada and most of the European Union.

When Kosovo unilaterally declared independence this year, the veto exercised by permanent members Russia and China showed how the obstacles for full international recognition can be insurmountable.


The Republic of Somaliland, located in north east Africa, has not been recognised by any state since it declared independence from Somalia in 1991.

Despite its fragile status, Somaliland is in a territorial dispute with Somalia, claiming the entire area of the former British Somaliland protectorate. Meanwhile, the north eastern region of Maakhir has in turn declared a separate, unrecognised autonomous state within Somalia.

Yet another separatist movement in the western Awdal province makes the international recognition for either of them virtually unachievable. If any of the breakaway regions is officially recognised, the whole of Somalia will collapse like a house of cards.

Ex-Soviet republics: Transdniester

Four more regions, all parts of former Soviet republics, unilaterally proclaimed independence in the early 1990s. They are Abkhazia, South Ossetia, Nagorno-Karabakh and Transdniester. They acknowledge each other's status but this is not shared by the rest of the world.

Transdniester is located in a strip between the Dniester River and Ukraine.

Abkhazia,SouthOssetia,Nagorno-Karabakhand Transdniester

After the dissolution of the USSR, Transdniester declared independence, leading to a four-month long conflict with Moldova. Although the ceasefire has held, the territory's political status remains unresolved, and Transdniester has been de facto independent since then.

Nagorno-Karabakh Republic
The Nagorno-Karabakh Republic, also known as the Artsakh Republic, is de facto independent, located about 270 km west of the Azerbaijani capital Baku, close to the border with Armenia.

The predominantly Armenian-populated region was long disputed between Armenia and Azerbaijan. However, while the Soviet Union had control over the area, the situation was relatively calm.

In the final years of the Soviet Union, the region re-emerged as a source of dispute between Armenia and Azerbaijan, culminating in conflict fought from 1988 to 1994.

On December 10, 1991, as the Soviet Union was collapsing, a referendum held in Nagorno-Karabakh and the neighboring Shahumian region resulted in a declaration of independence from Azerbaijan. Since the ceasefire in 1994, most of Nagorno-Karabakh, as well as a number of regions of Azerbaijan in close proximity, remain under joint Armenian and Nagorno-Karabakh military control.

Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic

There is another group of countries which have been accepted as sovereign states by UN member-countries, but not by the UN itself. They therefore cannot be considered fully independent states.

The Sahrawi Arab Democratic Republic, situated in the former Spanish colony of Western Sahara, proclaimed independence almost 40 years ago from Morocco. Since then it has remained a partially recognised state. It claims sovereignty over the entire territory of Western Sahara, parts of which are controlled by Morocco and Mauritania.


Taiwan – formed after the Chinese Civil War – has essentially been independent for half a century. But China still regards it as a rebel region which must be reunited. It only has diplomatic relations with around two dozen countries and lost its UN seat in 1971.

Northern Cyprus

The Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus declared independence in 1983, nine years after a Greek Cypriot coup - which was attempting to annex the island to Greece - triggered an invasion by Turkey. Northern Cyprus has only been recognised by Turkey, on which it is fully dependent.

Palestinian Authority

Israel, whose own status is itself disputed by some of its neighbours, has a breakaway region of its own: The Palestinian National Authority.

It was formed in 1994, created to administer a limited form of self-government in the Palestinian territories for a period of five years, during which final-status negotiations would take place. The interim period expired in 1999, leaving the parties without any kind of solution. The situation has been a political stalemate since.

However on Wednesday U.S. Secretary Condoleezza Rice stated that President Bush is ‘tireless advocate’ for establishment of Palestinian state.

News from Russia Today

Copyright © Autonomous Nonprofit Organization "TV-Novosti" 2007, all rights reserved

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Do You Still Complain?

Many of us dont realize how lucky we are by having the daily basic comforts and food.We complain about many things without even thinking that what we have is already a treasure for many other people.Have you ever thought what a gift is to be healthy, have a clean water to drink and water for self hygiene, a shelter to put your head under it and clothes to wear? This is what every person should have.These are basic needs, but for some people it is already a luxury to have them. Instead of complaining for things that are not a problem at all, we should value what we have and try to help others who are in need.Can we sleep with a clear conscience knowing that somewhere there are children dying of famine and lack of basic needs?
You may think "What I can do by myself,I am not in position to change it." Wrong! You are able to do something, if we unite, if we work together we can change many things and make the world better place to live in. Dont be indifferent! Indifference make the society rotten.
Feel gratitude for what you have and dont complain. Do something to help others.

Here are some information that I suppose everybody should know and think it over.

Hunger and Famine

What is hunger?

People usually think of hunger as the feeling they get if they skip breakfast or eat a small salad for lunch. But for millions of children and their families around the world, hunger is a day-in-day-out state that results from surviving on two small meals a day or less for weeks and sometime months.

Sometimes a meal is only a potato, some milk or cooked corn meal. Once a month it may be an ounce of meat. Often the only water for drinking is dirty, and makes people, especially children, sick. People may be hungry because of emergencies, like the recent famine that affected Ethiopia. For children living in the drought-stricken costal areas of Northern Mozambique, meals -for weeks on end - can consist of just a mango or starchy "porridge" made from bitterroot vegetables. These meals hold little nutritional value.

But people are often hungry because of longer-term political or economic situations. In Ethiopia and Angola, where conflict has undermined the country’s capacity for growing and distributing food, children often go without eating nutritious meals for months at a time, surviving only on grain, or in pastoral areas, only on milk.

What is famine?

Famine occurs when large numbers of people are dying from acute malnutrition – wasting away. Famine conditions occur when there is a drastic and widespread shortage of food. The cause of famine is usually the combination of a climactic shock, such as a drought, combined with civil unrest, political conflict, or poor governance.

How does hunger affect children and families?

Without adequate calories and a diverse diet consisting of grains, fruits, vegetables and proteins that provide the appropriate vitamins and nutrients, families become malnourished, with children and women being the most vulnerable. Children especially need an adequate diet for growth and development. Acute malnutrition results in significant weight loss or even death.

Chronic, or long-term, malnutrition, even at mild levels, can increase susceptibility to diseases like diarrhea, malaria, and measles. Chronic malnutrition contributes to the deaths of 6.5 million children per year around the world. Chronic malnutrition of children under two often results in stunting -- reduced height and permanently diminished physical and mental capacity. Stunting negatively impacts the health and productivity of current and future generations.

World Hunger Facts 2008

World Hunger Education Service

World hunger refers to the second definition, aggregated to the world level. The related technical term (in this case operationalized in medicine) is malnutrition.

Malnutrition is a general term that indicates a lack of some or all nutritional elements necessary for human health .

There are two basic types of malnutrition. The first and most important is protein-energy malnutrition--the lack of enough protein (from meat and other sources) and food that provides energy (measured in calories) which all of the basic food groups provide. This is the type of malnutrition that is referred to when world hunger is discussed. The second type of malnutrition, also very important, is micronutrient (vitamin and mineral) deficiency. This is not the type of malnutrition that is referred to when world hunger is discussed, though it is certainly very important.

Protein-energy malnutrition (PEM) is the most lethal form of malnutrition/hunger. It is basically a lack of calories and protein. Food is converted into energy by humans, and the energy contained in food is measured by calories. Protein is necessary for key body functions including provision of essential amino acids and development and maintenance of muscles.

No one really knows how many people are malnourished. The statistic most frequently cited is that of the United Nations Food and Agriculture Organization, which measures 'undernutrition'. The most recent estimate (2006) of the FAO says that 854 million people worldwide are undernourished. This is 12.6 percent of the estimated world population of 6.6 billion. Most of the undernourished--820 million--are in developing countries. The FAO estimate is based on statistical aggregates. It looks at a country's income level and income distribution and uses this information to estimate how many people receive such a low level of income that they are malnourished. It is not an estimate based on seeing to what extent actual people are malnourished and projecting from there (as would be done by survey sampling). [It has been argued that the FAO approach is not sufficient to give accurate estimates of malnutrition (Poverty and Undernutrition p. 298 by Peter Svedberg).] In July 2008, FAO said that an additional 50 million people became undernourished in 2007 due to higher food prices.

Children are the most visible victims of undernutrition. Children who are poorly nourished suffer up to 160 days of illness each year. Poor nutrition plays a role in at least half of the 10.9 million child deaths each year--five million deaths. Undernutrition magnifies the effect of every disease, including measles and malaria. The estimated proportions of deaths in which undernutrition is an underlying cause are roughly similar for diarrhea (61%), malaria (57%), pneumonia (52%), and measles (45%) (Black 2003, Bryce 2005). Malnutrition can also be caused by diseases, such as the diseases that cause diarrhea, by reducing the body's ability to convert food into usable nutrients.

According to the most recent estimate that Hunger Notes could find, malnutrition, as measured by stunting, affects 32.5 percent of children in developing countries--one of three (de Onis 2000). Geographically, more than 70 percent of malnourished children live in Asia, 26 percent in Africa and 4 percent in Latin America and the Caribbean. In many cases, their plight began even before birth with a malnourished mother. Under-nutrition among pregnant women in developing countries leads to 1 out of 6 infants born with low birth weight. This is not only a risk factor for neonatal deaths, but also causes learning disabilities, mental, retardation, poor health, blindness and premature death.

The world produces enough food to feed everyone. World agriculture produces 17 percent more calories per person today than it did 30 years ago, despite a 70 percent population increase. This is enough to provide everyone in the world with at least 2,720 kilocalories (kcal) per person per day (FAO 2002, p.9). The principal problem is that many people in the world do not have sufficient land to grow, or income to purchase, enough food.

Poverty is the principal cause of hunger. The causes of poverty include poor people's lack of resources, an extremely unequal income distribution in the world and within specific countries, conflict, and hunger itself. As of 2008 (2004 statistics), the World Bank has estimated that there were an estimated 982 million poor people in developing countries who live on $1 a day or less (World Bank, Understanding Poverty, Chen 2004). This compares to the FAO estimate of 850 million undernourished people. Extreme poverty remains an alarming problem in the world’s developing regions, despite the advances made in the 1990s till now, which reduced "dollar a day" poverty from (an estimated) 1.23 billion people to 982 million in 2004, a reduction of 20 percent over the period. Progress in poverty reduction has been concentrated in Asia, and especially, East Asia, with the major improvement occurring in China. In Sub-Saharan Africa, the number of people in extreme poverty has increased.

Conflict as a cause of hunger and poverty. The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) reports that as of December 2006, there were at least 22.7 million displaced, including 9.9 million refugees and 12.8 million internally displaced persons (UNHCR 2007). (Refugees flee to another country while internally displaced people move to another area of their own country.) Most people become refugees or are internally displaced as a result of conflict, though there are also natural causes such as drought, earthquakes, and flooding. In the early stages of refugee emergencies, malnutrition runs rampant, exponentially increasing the risk of disease and death (World Health Organization 2003). But, important and (relatively) visible though it is, conflict is less important as poverty as a cause of hunger. (Using the statistics above 798 million people suffer from chronic hunger while 22.7 million people are displaced.)

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Facts & Figures on Violence Against Women

Violence against women and girls continues unabated in every continent, country and culture. It takes a devastating toll on women’s lives, on their families, and on society as a whole. Most societies prohibit such violence — yet the reality is that too often, it is covered up or tacitly condoned. — UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon, 8 March 2007

Violence against women and girls is a problem of pandemic proportions. At least one out of every three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime — with the abuser usually someone known to her . Perhaps the most pervasive human rights violation that we know today, it devastates lives, fractures communities, and stalls development.

Statistics paint a horrifying picture of the social and health consequences of violence against women. For women aged 15 to 44 years, violence is a major cause of death and disability . In a 1994 study based on World Bank data about ten selected risk factors facing women in this age group, rape and domestic violence rated higher than cancer, motor vehicle accidents, war and malaria . Moreover, several studies have revealed increasing links between violence against women and HIV/AIDS. Women who have experienced violence are at a higher risk of HIV infection: a survey among 1,366 South African women showed that women who were beaten by their partners were 48 percent more likely to be infected with HIV than those who were not .

The economic cost of violence against women is considerable — a 2003 report by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that the costs of intimate partner violence in the United States alone exceed US$5.8 billion per year: US$4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly US$1.8 billion . Violence against women impoverishes individuals, families and communities, reducing the economic development of each nation .

In 1996, the United Nations General Assembly established the UN Trust Fund in Support of Actions to Eliminate Violence against Women. The Trust Fund is managed by UNIFEM and is the only multilateral grant-making mechanism that supports local, national and regional efforts to combat violence. Since it began operations in 1997, the Trust Fund has awarded more than US$19 million to 263 initiatives to address violence against women in 115 countries. Raising awareness of women’s human rights, these UNIFEM-supported efforts have linked activists and advocates from all parts of the world; shown how small, innovative projects impact laws, policies and attitudes; and has begun to break the wall of silence by moving the issue onto public agendas everywhere.

Some facts and figures from around the world:

Harmful Traditional Practices

Harmful traditional practices are forms of violence that have been committed against women in certain communities and societies for so long that they are considered part of accepted cultural practice. These violations include female genital mutilation or cutting (FGM), dowry murder, so-called “honour killings,” and early marriage. They lead to death, disability, physical and psychological harm for millions of women annually.

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)

FGM refers to several types of deeply-rooted traditional cutting operations performed on women and girls. Often part of fertility or coming-of-age rituals, FGM is sometimes justified as a way to ensure chastity and genital “purity.” It is estimated that more than 130 million girls and women alive today have undergone FGM, mainly in Africa and some Middle Eastern countries , and two million girls a year are at risk of mutilation. Cases of FGM have been reported in Asian countries such as India, Indonesia, Malaysia and Sri Lanka, and it is thought to be performed among some indigenous groups in Central and South America . FGM is also being practiced among immigrant communities in Europe, North America and Australia .

Since the late 1980s, opposition to FGM and efforts to combat the practice have increased. According to the Secretary-General’s In-Depth Study, as of April 2006, 15 of the 28 African States where FGM is prevalent made it an offence under criminal law. Of the nine States in Asia and the Arabian Peninsula where female genital mutilation/cutting is prevalent among certain groups, two have enacted legal measures prohibiting it. In addition, ten States in other parts of the world have enacted laws criminalizing the practice .

"UNIFEM supported a project in Kenya, which involved local communities developing alternative coming-of-age rituals, such as “circumcision with words” — celebrating a young girl’s entry into womanhood with words instead of genital cutting. The project involved close cooperation with circumcisers, religious leaders, and men and boys in the communities . Another project in Mali, with support from the UN Trust Fund to Eliminate Violence against Women, is currently working to foster dialogue and build capacities among government ministries, parliamentarians, civil society and traditional and religious leaders that can lead to changes in harmful practices and attitudes."

Dowry Murder

Dowry murder is a brutal practice involving a woman being killed by her husband or in-laws because her family is unable to meet their demands for her dowry — a payment made to a woman’s in-laws upon her engagement or marriage as a gift to her new family. It is not uncommon for dowries to exceed a family’s annual income.

While cultures throughout the world have dowries or similar payments, dowry murder occurs predominantly in South Asia. According to official crime statistics in India, 6,822 women were killed in 2002 as a result of such violence. Small community studies have also indicated that dowry demands have played an important role in women being burned to death and in deaths of women being labelled suicides . In Bangladesh, there have been many incidents of acid attacks due to dowry disputes , leading often to blindness, disfigurement, and death. In 2002, 315 women and girls in Bangladesh were victims of acid attacks ; in 2005 that number was 267.

“Honour Killings”

In many societies, rape victims, women suspected of engaging in premarital sex, and women accused of adultery have been murdered by their relatives because the violation of a woman’s chastity is viewed as an affront to the family’s honour. The United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) estimates that the annual world-wide number of “honour killing” victims may be as high as 5000 women .

According to a 2002 report by the UN Special Rapporteur on Violence against Women, “honour killings” take place in Pakistan, Turkey, Jordan, Syria, Egypt, Lebanon, Iran, Yemen, Morocco and other Mediterranean and Gulf countries. It also occurs in countries such as Germany, France and the United Kingdom within immigrant communities. It is not only in Islamic countries or communities that this act of violence is prevalent. Brazil is cited as a case in point, where killing is justified to defend the honour of the husband in the case of a wife’s adultery .

According to a government report, 4,000 women and men were killed in Pakistan in the name of honour between 1998 and 2003, the number of women being more than double the number of men . In a study of female deaths in Alexandria, Egypt, 47 percent of the women were killed by a relative after the woman had been raped . In Jordan and Lebanon, 70 to 75 percent of the perpetrators of these so-called “honour killings” are the women’s brothers .

"In Sudan, the UN Trust Fund to Eliminate Violence against Women supported a project to combat “honour killings” in the Nuba Mountains region. The project trained local and religious leaders, women leaders and teachers to become advocates in their communities against “honour killings” and other forms of violence against women. They organized trainings and group discussions, as a result of which “honour killings” were for the first time discussed in public. The project led to positive changes in knowledge, attitudes and practices among community members who increasingly began to regard “honour killings” as a crime, rather than a legitimate means to defend a tribe’s honour."

Early Marriage

The practice of early marriage is prevalent throughout the world, especially in Africa and South Asia. This is a form of sexual violence, since young girls are often forced into the marriage and into sexual relations, which jeopardizes their health, raises their risk of exposure to HIV/AIDS and limits their chance of attending school.

Parents and families often justify child marriages by claiming it ensures a better future for their daughters. Parents and families marry off their younger daughters as a means of gaining economic security and status for themselves as well as for their daughters. Insecurity, conflict and societal crises also support early marriage. In many African countries experiencing conflict, where there is a high possibility of young girls being kidnapped, marrying them off at an early age is viewed as a way to secure their protection.

According to a 2006 report by the UN Special Rapporteur on Violence against Women on her mission to Afghanistan, an estimated 57 percent of girls in Afghanistan are married before the age of 16. Economic reasons are said to play a significant role in such marriages. Due to the common practice of “bride money,” the girl child becomes an asset exchangeable for money or goods. Families see committing a young daughter (or sister) to a family that is able to pay a high price for the bride as a viable solution to their poverty and indebtedness. The custom of bride money may motivate families that face indebtedness and economic crisis to “cash in” the “asset” as young as 6 or 7, with the understanding that the actual marriage is delayed until the child reaches puberty. However, reports indicate that this is rarely observed, and that young girls may be sexually violated not only by the groom, but also by older men in the family, particularly if the groom is a child too .

Copyright © 2007–2008 United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Gender Equality

While ‘sex’ refers to the biological differences between males and females, gender describes the socially-constructed roles, rights and responsibilities that communities and societies consider appropriate for men and women. We are born as males and females, but becoming girls, boys, women and men is something that we learn from our families and societies.

This set of assumptions, which we construct out of the biological differences between men and women, is what creates gender identities and in turn gender-based discrimination.

Being a social construction, gender is a very fluid concept. It changes not only over time, but also from one culture to another and among different groups within one culture. Therefore, gender roles, inequities and power imbalances are not a ‘natural’ result of biological differences, but are determined by the systems and cultures in which we live. This means that we can address and contribute to changing these roles by challenging the status quo and seeking social change.

Despite efforts at local, national, and international levels, women and girls continue to face discrimination. Gender-based discrimination and inequalities violate the human rights of both women and men and affect the well being of all children. By understanding gender discrimination, we are not only better equipped to help women and children realize their human rights, but also to better understand other kinds of inequalities, such as those based on age, race or class.

Gender-based discrimination takes on many different forms, some aspects include:

Human rights

Despite international laws guaranteeing women equal rights with men, women around the world are denied their rights to land and property, financial resources, employment and education, amongst others. In many cultures, women and girls are subject to female genital mutilation / cutting, and are harmed and even killed in the name of tradition. And for women in all countries, gender-based violence constitutes perhaps the most common and serious violation of human rights.


Both women and men play important roles in productive work throughout the world, providing for themselves and their families. But women’s roles are often invisible, as they tend to be more informal in nature, such as self-employment and subsistence production. Even when women and men do perform the same tasks for pay, women are often paid less and receive lower benefits from their work than men in developed as well as developing countries.

Men hold the majority of positions of power and decision-making in the public sphere, with the result that decisions and policies tend to the reflect the needs and preferences of men, not women. In addition, women’s larger share of reproductive work, often known as the unpaid care economy, is undervalued as well as statistically invisible. In other words, women throughout the world work longer hours for less rewards than men.


The world’s resources are very unevenly distributed, not only between countries, but also between men and women within countries. While it is estimated that women perform two-thirds of the world’s work, they only earn one tenth of the income, and own less than one per cent of the world’s property. In many cases, women’s rights and access to land, credit and education, for instance, are limited not only due to legal discrimination, but because more subtle barriers (such as their work load, mobility and low bargaining position at household and community level) prevent them from taking advantage of their legal rights.

In 1997, the United Nations adopted gender mainstreaming as the strategy by which gender equality could be achieved. Mainstreaming a gender perspective means assessing the implications for women and men of everything that you do, including legislation, policies and programmes at all levels. It is a strategy for integrating both women’s and men’s needs and experiences into the design, implementation, monitoring and evaluation of policies and programmes so that gender inequality is not perpetuated.

For UNICEF, gender mainstreaming implies bringing gender analysis into all decision-making processes of the organization, whether core policy decisions or everyday decisions of programme implementation.

Gender mainstreaming is not a process that begins and ends with women. It does not only mean having an equitable number of women and men in the organization or supporting programmes exclusively for women, although it includes these aspects.

Addressing the gender-based needs of men and engaging them as partners in the work for the rights of women and girls is integral to the gender mainstreaming approach. Mainstreaming gender concerns means that programmes are designed and evaluated to ensure that women and girls benefit from UNICEF programmes - from those affecting society at large, such as child-friendly schools aiming to ensure education for all children and to address barriers girls’ face in pursuing their education , to those which specifically meet the gender-defined needs of women and girls, such as safe-motherhood projects to reduce maternal mortality.


Monday, August 18, 2008

Smart,Rich and Blond - Good combination :))

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.00.The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan,so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title andeverything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral forthe loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh atthe blonde for using a $250,000.00 Rolls Royce as collateral against a$5,000.00 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rollsinto the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000.00 and the interest,which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy tohave had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you outand found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you botherto borrow $5,000.00?” The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park mycar for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Sunday, August 17, 2008

How to Deal With Stress

Life can be stressful and at times you'll have to take steps to deal with ongoing stress in a positive way. Stress can have a variety of causes such as family problems, job problems, financial difficulties, poor health, mechanical breakdowns, false expectations or even the death of someone close to you. It is important to recognize the causes (some stress is natural) and, if possible, take steps to deal with the root of the problem or ask for help from friends and, in severe cases, professionals.


1. Stop! Take a deep breath and realise that you have power to control your life. Just like everyone else!

2. Be aware of your choices; you always have a choice. This is true for emotions and work. Sometimes you need to let your emotions out but still stay in control.

3. Say something positive to yourself as soon as you wake up.

4. Start every day with reflection, spiritual or otherwise.

5. Set goals for what needs to be achieved in the day then write a "to do list". When writing "your to do list":

-Know your limits - Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a day.

-Prioritize your tasks and work to finish them starting with the highest priority (urgent/important).

-Do your most unpleasant or most difficult task at the beginning of the day when you are fresh, thereby avoiding the stress of last minute preparation. Procrastination feeds stress!

-Focus on one task at a time.

-Emphasize quality in your work, rather than sheer quantity.

-Schedule your day and your stress as this can reduce the number of stressors you must juggle at any one time. Stagger deadlines for large projects.

-Add some "breathing" space that will allow you time for "recharging" and creative thinking. You will also be better prepared when an unanticipated task arrives.

-Remember to delegate.

-Review your goals at the end of the day, this is cathartic and will help you sleep better.

-Know your limits and do not push yourself too hard or beat yourself up when you do not achieve your goals. Tomorrow is another day, start writing tomorrows to-do-list before you lie down so that it is off your chest.

6. Be organized. Much stress arises from feeling overwhelmed being organized and getting your priorities straight can help you break responsibilities down into manageable pieces and focus on the things that really matter.

7. Stop worrying about what you cannot change. Learning to accept things as they are is an important coping mechanism, but not as easy as it sounds.

8. Take responsibility for making your life what you want it to be. It is less stressful to make decisions and take action than to feel powerless and react to other's decisions. Decide what you want and go for it!

9. Treat your body right - You will have more self-confidence and energy, and be less likely to experience the physical side effects of stress:

-Eat a healthy breakfast and healthy snacks only. Your choice of food is very important when dealing with stress; stay away from sugary snacks and have unsalted nuts and fruit available.

-Drink water it is the best beverage and stay off alcohol which always adds to stress one way or another. Caffeine is also known to raise stress levels, so again it is best to drink water.

-Get fit. Exercise a little every day. This releases endorphins that can lower stress levels, also eat chocolate it also releases endorphins, but sorry only in small moderate dosage.

-Take a good vitamin/mineral mix tablet; some vitamins help you cope with stress.

-Get enough sleep, and, if possible, get into regular sleeping habits.

10. Listen to music. Stress can inspire intense emotional reaction. Utilize it. Vent the spleen to a favourite piece of music and experience a happy release. Also, positive and relaxing music can be helpful.

11. Use positive self-talk - One of the first things you can do in facing stressful situations is to reinforce your resolve through positive statements such as, "I can handle this, one step at a time," or "Since I've been successful with this before, there's no reason why I can't do it again".

12. Rehearse (visualize) - When you know that you are going to face a stressful situation, rehearse how you are going to handle it. Picture yourself overcoming it successfully. Create a mental "videotape" that you can play over and over in your mind.

13. Visualize positive things; this does not take long but can help you regain focus.

14. Develop a sense of humour - One of the barriers to stress reduction is the temptation to take things too seriously. It's okay to back off from your intensity and see the humour in life's situations. Laugh a little or better yet, laugh a lot! See the humour in stress.

15. Talk to friends. This is one of the most important things, as keeping things bottled up can only cause more stress.

16. Learn to say no; you cannot do everything you are asked.

17. Accept and appreciate the turmoil around you, without it there couldn't be anything you could call a good thing. Understand, that to feel frustration and anxiety only indicates your own humanity, and it's nothing to feel ashamed of.

18. Communicate your emotions this can improve the situation by informing others you need help; thus establishing a need for change in communication and situation.

19. Learn to meditate and let the stress go.

20. Take a bath this will give you private time and relax the body.

21. Chew gum or a toothpick. It has been shown that the action of chewing can reduces stress; this is why many people who are under constant stress tend to overeat. Chewing gum or a tooth pick is a healthier alternative.

22. Try some relaxation techniques or breathing techniques.


- Do not just read about "How to Deal With Stress" ACT ON IT!

- Get rid of the cause of stress. This is the most practical solution but is often disregarded. Stressful things usually do you more harm than good.

- Take positive steps in advance if you know something is going to add to your stress.

- Identify causes of other hassles and minor stresses and eliminate them if possible.

- Be honest about your emotions, do not deny them or repress them as this will only add to the stress. Do not be afraid to cry as this can relieve anxiety and let out bottled-up emotions which can help you cope.

- Apologize to someone if you need. Make sure it will not make the situation worse. Guilt adds pain to stress.

- Plan an event in the future to look forward to. Planning using imagination can also help reduce stress.

- Seek out positive friends.

- Treat yourself to a massage.

- Do not expect perfection from yourself.

- Learnto forgive, particularly to forgive yourself.

- Get enough sunlight.

- Remember stress is a way to know you are alive. Celebrate your awarness of your life and congratulate yourself on your achievments.

- Do nothing and just spend some time by yourself. It could once a week, once a month, but try to do it regularly.

Don't blame it all on yourself. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it may seem impossible. Giving up on the subject is not a bad thing, but giving up on yourself is not acceptable. You are a unique individual, worthy of love and the stress is just temporary. So breath in deep and tell yourself, you are loved, by you.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Why Men Cheat?

Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Why men cheat on women is an age-old question. The reasons why men cheat on women can be varied. Nevertheless, we have compiled a list of the top 10 reasons why both married and unmarried men cheat. Sometimes their reasons don’t even involve you and it’s simply an ego-based decision. Other times, reasons why men cheat can involve you and your relationship, or lack thereof.

So why do some men cheat in relationships? Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce. However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp? Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions? Aparrently not always.

Here are the top 10 reasons why men cheat:

1. Because they had the option. The old saying “men are only as faithful as their options” can sometimes ring true. Men don’t get offered sex as often as women so when the opportunity does arise, it can be very difficult for them to turn it down.

2. It boosts their ego. Sometimes men don’t feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex any more and when a woman shows some interest, not only does a man react, he may allow her to stroke his ego and more. There’s nothing like the thrill of the chase to men on the hunt. When they are finally rewarded for their efforts, their egos swell even larger.

3. You grow apart. Maybe the two of you didn’t have as much in common as you thought. He’s met a woman who has more in common with him who loves football or plays golf. He may check out if he is compatible with her under the sheets also.

4. You argue a lot. Men will sometimes cheat to get away from an overly critical or argumentative partner. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly on them about something.

5. He’s fallen out of love. Sometimes men become so comfortable in a relationship, they don’t know how to get out. They may be staying in the relationship because of children or financial reasons. However, they feel like they are missing out on love and may seek it out elsewhere. In their mind, this is as close to win-win as they can get.

6. Your sex life sucks. If a man has a disinterested partner or isn’t getting enough sex to fulfill him, there is a good chance he will have an affair. Just because you have a husband or boyfriend, does not mean you can stop trying. It takes a little bit of effort to keep your sex life from getting boring and non-existent. Some men cheat because they want to try new sexual things that their current partner will not try.

7. To get revenge. A man will sometimes cheat if he finds out his partner was cheating on him. How else is he supposed to heal those hurt feelings of his but through good old fashioned sex?

8. It’s new, different and exciting. Some men get tired of having steak for dinner every night and want to try a hamburger. The same goes for sex with a woman. That’s why men don’t necessarily always cheat with women who are more attractive than their partners.

9. To see if they can get away with it. If a man has the attitude of “what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her,” he may cheat to see if he is sneaky and smart enough to get away with it. However, with all the advancement in surveillance spy ware, getting caught has now become easier than ever.

10. Because you have allowed it in the past. If you have forgiven a cheating man a couple of times, they are more than likely going to cheat again because they already know if they plead enough, you will forgive them.

Reasons why men cheat can be more complex than the above list or even be a combination of a few different reasons. Nevertheless, no reason is good enough reason to lie and be dishonest. After all, Karma can be a bitch.

By Infidelity Expert Stephany Alexander